


Nor Earth Sustain

by carolinecrane



Category: Deadliest Catch RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-30
Updated: 2010-09-30
Packaged: 2017-10-12 07:57:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a rough season all around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nor Earth Sustain

**Author's Note:**

> Set during the first half of season 5.

Halfway through the season and Josh couldn't think of a single thing that hadn't gone wrong. His father was home on doctor's orders and they had no way of knowing if he was really okay, their boat was still falling apart even after thousands more dollars sunk into repairs, and no matter what Murray did, he couldn't dial into the crab. He felt for the guy; Josh had known Murray practically as long as he could remember, and in a lot of ways he thought of him as family. But even his faith in Murray's ability to turn it around was starting to run out, so he had a feeling the rest of the guys were ready to mutiny.

A stop in Dutch was probably exactly what they all needed. It would give them a little time to get away from each other, to see some different faces than the ones they were stuck with twenty-four-seven on the boat. Knowing that didn't make it feel like any less of a waste of time, though, not when their tanks were practically empty and they didn't have the benefit of Phil's experience to find the spot that would magically bring them up to quota.

Josh lifted his cigarette to his mouth as they coasted into the harbor, clamping his lips around it so he'd have his hands free to toss the mooring line. As soon as they got close enough he tossed the rope over the side to the dock hand standing on the dock. When he was finished he looked up to make sure Jake had his end tied off, and as he glanced across the dock he caught sight of the boat docked in the next slip.

He didn't react to the sight of the _Northwestern_ , but he gave the dock a quick scan just in case any of her crew was still hanging around. There was no one around except a few dock hands, though, and he told himself he wasn't disappointed. The fact was that Jake was somewhere in town, and if Josh was lucky they'd at least get to see each other before either of them sailed again. Not that luck had been on his side so far this season, and they still had plenty to do before any of them could leave the boat. Josh frowned as he took one last drag off his cigarette and tossed it over the side of the boat.

"Get your ass in gear, we haven't got all day to wait around for you," his brother shouted from the bow.

"Fuck off," Josh shouted back, but his heart wasn't in it. He cast one last glance over at the _Northwestern_ and turned back to the deck, resigning himself to the fact that he might not even run into Jake at all.

It took about an hour to make it through their chore list, but when the entire crew voted to save checking the traps for holes until they knew for sure what was going on with the engine, Josh let himself hope that maybe he'd get to see Jake after all. There weren't any signs of life on the other side of the dock, anyway, which meant the _Northwestern's_ crew was in town somewhere. Josh followed the rest of the guys to the only bar in town, cap pulled down against the bitter November wind and trying to look like it was the cold and not the prospect of running into anybody in particular that was making him walk a little faster than usual.

Warm air hit them all a second before the bar noise did, and Josh squinted at the sudden change in light as he searched the crowd for Jake. He spotted most of the _Northwestern_ crew right away; Matt and Sig were laughing at whatever story Edgar was telling, his arms swinging wide enough to just miss taking out Nick as he described whatever he was talking about. There was no sign of Jake, but when Matt looked up and saw Josh he smirked a little before he turned back to Edgar.

Josh frowned and scanned the rest of the room, ignoring his brother and the rest of the guys as they jostled him on their way to an empty table. Jake could be outside making a phone call, he thought, but something about the way Matt looked at him made Josh think he was missing something. If something was _wrong_...well, chances were he wouldn't have heard about it already, but Jake's whole crew wouldn't be sitting around trading stories over beers if Jake was hurt or something.

When he glanced toward the bar and caught sight of blond hair and a familiar black sweatshirt his chest tightened a little, and he didn't stop to worry about how it would look before he crossed the bar and sat down next to Jake. "Hey."

Jake looked up at him, scowl softening a little at the sight of Josh, but it was pretty obvious he was pissed about something. "Hey."

"How long you guys in town for?"

"Forever, for all I care," Jake answered. He lifted his beer and took a long swallow, reaching up to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand before he set it down so he could keep glaring at it. "I hate those fucking guys. I should just quit and find a crew that doesn't treat me like total shit. See how easy it is for them without me around."

"Yeah, right," Josh said, nodding at the bartender when he set a Captain and Coke in front of Josh. It wasn't the first time he'd heard Jake bitching about his job; they all did it, but none of them really meant it. They all loved it too much to bail just because they happened to work with assholes, and jobs on a decent crab boat weren't exactly a dime a dozen. The _Northwestern_ had one of the biggest paychecks on the Bering Sea, and there was no way Jake was going to bail before he even made full share.

"I'm serious," Jake said, glancing up from his staring contest with his beer long enough to frown at Josh. "There are plenty of captains who'd take me a hell of a lot more seriously than Sig."

"Not if you bailed on Sig without even giving him any notice." Josh lifted his drink and drained half the glass, wincing at the chill as it went down his throat. "Besides, you'd never leave Edgar."

"Oh, fuck you," Jake said, and Josh didn't have to look to know Jake wasn't kidding. He looked anyway, and when he saw the look on Jake's face his stomach clenched. He'd seen Jake pissed before, sure, but Jake had never been pissed at _him_. Not like that, anyway, and not about this. Josh had teased him about his thing for Edgar plenty of times before, but Jake had always laughed and denied it, then when Josh didn't let it go he'd accuse Josh of being jealous. Which was...okay, it was sort of true, not that Josh would ever admit it. The conversation usually ended in Jake wrestling him onto the bed, though, and once Jake was kissing him Josh forgot all about Edgar.

This was the first time Jake had ever gotten pissed about it, and it was the first time Josh knew for sure that Jake _did_ have a thing for Edgar. Maybe it was just hero worship or whatever, but it still stung, and if they were anywhere else Josh would have stood up and walked out of the bar. But they were at the only place in this miserable excuse for a town, and both their crews were sitting right across the room, so everybody would notice if he stormed out like...well, like a jilted boyfriend.

"Jesus, it was a joke," Josh said instead, gaze focused on his glass so he wouldn't have to look at Jake. "Quit if you want, what do I care. But I didn't do anything, so you don't have to be an asshole to me."

For a few seconds his only answer was a sigh, and Josh would have thought it was cute if Jake wasn't being a total dick. Another few seconds passed in silence, and Josh let out his own sigh and picked up his glass. He was about to stand up and go join his crew at their table when Jake looked over at him again. "We heard about your dad. Is he okay?"

Josh shrugged and set his glass down again, chasing a bead of condensation with his fingertip as he spoke. "I don't know. I mean, nobody's called to say he's dead or back in the hospital, so I guess he's okay. I haven't called home yet; figured I'd see how long you were in town first."

"Sig wants to wait out the front that's supposed to come through, so we're staying in port tonight," Jake answered. His voice was a little softer now, and when Josh glanced at him Jake wasn't frowning at his glass anymore. He looked up, eyes wide and sort of sad and when Josh's heart skipped a beat he had to look away so he wouldn't do anything stupid. "I didn't mean that, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Josh said. It was the closest to an apology he was going to get, but he was okay with that as long as they weren't going to have some stupid fight on the one night they finally managed to land in town at the same time. "Listen, we're staying in port tonight too. Think you can get away for awhile?"

Jake snorted and picked up his beer, draining the glass before he answered. "Like any of those assholes would even notice."

Josh was pretty sure he was wrong about that, but he didn't bother pointing it out. Instead he glanced over his shoulder at his crew, making sure they were all settled in for a long night of drinking before he turned back to the bar. It was a big risk to take Jake back to the _Cornelia Marie_ , but they didn't have a lot of choice, and at least it was safer than the _Northwestern_. "So I'll go make that phone call."

Jake nodded and stood up, set some money down on the bar and then walked away without a backward glance. He didn't look at his crew, he just zipped up his jacket and headed for the door.

It was tempting to follow right away. He didn't even think anybody would notice, but eventually they'd realize he and Jake had both split, and someone was bound to ask questions later. If he waited even a few minutes at least he could claim he didn't know where Jake had gone, and considering the mood Jake was in, it wouldn't be hard to buy that he was off pouting by himself somewhere. Maybe freezing his ass off alone in that stupid skate park, working out some frustration on his board.

So Josh took his time finishing his drink, then he reached into his pocket for his wallet. He set a few bills down on the bar and waved at the bartender again, and by the time he stood up and crossed the room to stop next to his brother Jake had been gone almost fifteen minutes.

"I'm gonna call home, check on Dad," Josh said, leaning in so Jake could hear him over the noise of the bar. Jake's only answer was a nod, but the look he gave Josh told him he wasn't fooling his brother, at least.

"Tell him we're all thinking about him, huh?" Murray said. Josh nodded and clapped him on the shoulder, then he waved at the rest of them and went outside. He didn't look back to see if anyone from the _Northwestern_ was watching; if they were, he didn't want to know. He didn't want to have to think about what anybody thought they knew about him or Jake, especially if Jake was right and Matt had it all figured out. The truth was that Josh didn't care if Matt knew, as long as he kept his mouth shut in front of the Hansens.

He fished his smokes out of his pocket and lit one before he pushed the door open, head down against the cold as he crossed to the row of phones down the side of the bar. For once there was no line, and Josh reached for the nearest receiver and dug in his pocket for his phone card before he dialed Phil's number. He glanced out into the darkness as he listened to the phone ring, his gaze falling on a familiar shape approaching from across the street. When Jake reached him he leaned against the wall next to Josh, reaching into Josh's pocket and fishing his cigarettes out. It was...weird, Jake touching him like that where anybody could see. Usually he kept his hands to himself unless they were behind closed doors, even back in Seattle. Josh was the one who always had to remind himself not to touch, but when Jake reached into his pocket again Josh didn't try to stop him.

Jake found his lighter and leaned in out of the wind long enough to light his stolen cigarette, then he leaned back against the side of the building and waited. Josh listened to the phone ring, then the line connected and he heard the familiar message on his father's voice mail begin. He took a drag off his cigarette while he listened to the message, waiting for the beep before he started talking.

"Hey, it's me." Jake was still watching him with an expression Josh had never seen before, and despite the cold outside Josh felt heat creeping up his neck. "We're in town for awhile, getting the engine checked again. Nothing to worry about, just thought I'd call and tell you we all miss you out here. Guess I'll try again next week."

He replaced the receiver in the cradle and turned to face Jake, watching as he took a drag off his stolen cigarette and exhaled a white cloud of smoke. "No answer."

"That's a good sign, right? I mean, if he's out he's not feeling that bad."

"Yeah, I guess," Josh said. Jake had a point, but that didn't erase the nagging worry that he'd been carrying around since Phil announced that he was taking the season off. "So listen, I was thinking, the guys are probably going to hang out here for awhile, we could try the boat if you want."

Jake shook his head and reached into his pocket, and when he held his hand up again he was holding a key. Josh had to get closer to see what it was, but when he did he realized where Jake had been for the past fifteen minutes. It wasn't the first time they'd gotten a room at one of the few motels in town, but it wasn't something they made a habit of. It was too big a risk, not to mention the expense, and the only other time they'd done it was before the camera crews showed up for the season.

There were no cameras following them right now, though. As soon as they got back to dry land most of the producers took off to do the same stuff the rest of the crew did: call home, pick up whatever supplies they were out of, find a place to chase the chill out of their bones before they had to go back out into the relentless cold. So nobody would miss them for a few hours, and even if they couldn't spend the whole night together, it was better than nothing.

The wind bit at every bit of exposed skin on his body as he followed Jake through the darkness, collar tugged up high and trying not to break into an actual run. Jake seemed just as impatient to get inside, and Josh didn't really care if it was because he wanted to be alone with Josh or if he just wanted to get in out of the relentless cold. Both, probably, and when they reached the room and he got the lock open they both let out a sigh of relief.

It wasn't that much warmer in the room than it was outside, so Josh crossed to the wall unit and cranked the heat as high as it would go. He shuddered at the first blast of warm air and turned to watch Jake sit down hard on the edge of the bed, then fall backwards. He was still wearing his coat, baseball cap knocked sort of halfway off and his cheeks pink from the wind outside. Josh pulled off his coat and hat, then he kicked his shoes off and climbed onto the bed. Jake's eyes stayed closed when the mattress dipped under Josh's weight, but when Josh reached out to pull Jake's cap off he opened them to look up at Josh.

"I'm never gonna make full share."

"Yeah you are," Josh said as he dropped Jake's cap on the nightstand and started working on his coat. "Hell, I've been at this longer than you _and_ my dad's the captain, and I'm still at half share."

"We should have our own boat. Between us we've probably got more experience than half the guys out here." Jake grinned when Josh shook his head, but he sat up and let Josh tug his coat off. His sweatshirt was next, and he shivered when the cool air in the room hit his bare arms.

"Right," Josh said, letting go of Jake long enough to pull his own sweatshirt and t-shirt off in one motion. "What are we gonna call it, the _F/V Homo_? Guys would be lining up to crew that one."

"There's that one guy. Allen something. Carlson, I think. You know, the one with the secret boyfriend stashed in a cabin out in the bush somewhere."

Josh tried to picture the guy Jake was talking about, but it had been awhile since either of them ran into him, and all he could remember was a full beard and one of those cliche fishermen sweaters. They didn't really know him more than to say hi, and the only reason they knew about his boyfriend was because he'd found out about them first. Which meant they weren't being as careful as they thought, and the last thing they should be doing was pushing their luck by renting a room. "That's three. It'd have to be a pretty small boat."

"Good," Jake said, his voice dropping a little as he reached out a cold hand to trace the design on Josh's bicep. Josh shivered at the brush of fingers against his skin and leaned forward, hand braced against the mattress next to Jake's hip as he pressed their lips together. Jake's fingers curled around his bicep, mouth open to let Josh in, and when Jake made a needy noise in the back of his throat he forgot all about the chill on his back. Jake's fingers tightened on Josh's arm to ease him closer, and when he made that same noise again it went straight to Josh's cock.

He let Jake pull him forward until they were both stretched out on the bed, Jake's hand still clenched around his arm and Josh's knees on either side of Jake's hips. He inhaled the familiar smells of stale smoke and traces of cod that never quite washed out until days after they were back on land for the season. Salt clung to Jake's skin just below his ear, and Josh chased the flavor with his tongue until Jake turned into him and pressed their mouths together again. Hands worked between them to unzip his jeans, and together they managed to pull off the rest of their clothes without having to let go of each other for more than a few seconds.

And he'd had plenty of time to get used to the sight of Jake naked and stretched out under him, pale skin flushed pink and his chest rising and falling hard with the effort to catch his breath. Somehow it still took him by surprise, though, and his breath caught in his throat all over again when Jake arched up against him and pressed his lips against Josh's neck to whisper in his ear. "Fuck me."

Jake didn't ask all that often, and that was okay with Josh, but it made the times he _did_ ask even hotter. Josh's cock twitched and he swallowed a groan, turning into Jake to press another hard kiss against his lips. And they didn't have any lube on them, but they were used to making do by now, so Josh pulled back far enough to suck two fingers into his mouth. Jake watched while he sucked on his own fingers, making sure they were good and wet before he rolled onto his side and pushed Jake's legs up and apart. Jake's hands slid behind his knees to give Josh better access, and this time he didn't quite manage to swallow his groan.

If Jake noticed he didn't react, though, and when Josh slid two slick fingers inside him he grunted and pushed down hard against Josh's hand. It had been awhile since they did it this way, but he could tell Jake wasn't in the mood to let Josh take his time. And if he wanted -- needed, maybe -- hard and fast, Josh was more than willing to oblige. He slid another finger in with the first, leaning over to spit on his own fingers as they slid in and out of Jake.

Jake strained up against him a little harder with every shallow thrust, hips lifting up off the bed and grunting with the effort of dragging Josh's fingers even deeper inside him. But it wasn't enough, and before long Jake was staring up at him and grinding out a harsh 'come on' between gritted teeth. Josh pulled his fingers out of Jake, ignoring the disappointed sound he made and spitting into his palm before he wrapped it around his cock. He wished he had some lube stashed in a pocket somewhere, but they both knew better than to carry that stuff around just in case they got the chance to steal a few minutes alone. There was no telling who'd pick up his jacket in the bar, or maybe just reach into a pocket to borrow a lighter and find more than they bargained for.

He thought about getting up off the bed long enough to check the bathroom for some lotion or something, but this wasn't exactly that kind of motel. Besides, getting up meant leaving Jake, and he was already flipping over onto his knees, hands braced against the mattress and Josh groaned and spit into his hand one more time before he lined himself up. "You sure..."

"I can take it," Jake said, glancing back at Josh over his shoulder, and the look on his face made Josh's cock twitch. He gripped Jake's hips with one hand and lined himself up, pushing inside as slowly as he could stand. He didn't realize he was holding his breath until Jake groaned and thrust back hard against him. Josh gasped, fingers digging into Jake's skin and leaving five red half moon marks on each side of his hips. He leaned over Jake to press his lips against his spine, breathing through the urge to come and end things before they even really got started.

When he thought he could move without losing control he pulled out halfway, then gritted his teeth and pushed back inside. Jake's hands clutched the ugly motel bedspread, knuckles white against the dark red floral print and his elbows locked to keep himself upright. He pushed back into each shallow thrust, moving faster and faster until Josh was the one just trying to hold on. It was obvious from the moment Josh found him in the bar that something was bothering Jake, and he was pretty sure that was what all this was about, but he couldn't help being glad they happened to be in town at the same time. Not that he thought Jake would find someone else to blow off steam with, but there was no telling what he might have done if Josh hadn't been around to drag into a motel room. Quit his job for real, maybe, and they both knew he'd regret that in the morning.

This he wouldn't regret, Josh was pretty sure. He might be walking a little funny, but that was a different kind of regret altogether. Josh grinned at the thought and pulled out completely, hand on Jake's hip to push until he got the message and flipped over onto his back. He reached down to grip his cock while Josh knelt between his legs and pushed his knees wide apart, spitting into his hand one more time and wrapping it around his own cock before he slid back inside. The sigh that got him made his heart clench, and he leaned in to press a quick kiss against the corner of Jake's mouth before he started moving again.

Jake's hand moved in time with Josh's thrusts, eyes wide open and watching Josh watch him while he jerked himself off. Something else he'd never get tired of looking at, he decided, bracing himself on his arms to get an even deeper angle. Jake groaned and pushed up into each thrust, murmuring barely coherent encouragements that started out almost sounding like words, but trailed off into gibberish as he got closer and closer to losing control. His whole body flushed red and he arched up off the mattress, and all Josh could think was 'beautiful' as Jake's eyes finally closed and he came in his own hand.

He kept up his own shallow thrusts as Jake panted through his orgasm, clenching hard around Josh with each stroke until finally Josh buried himself as deep as he could and let go. And he wasn't positive, but he thought he might have blacked out for a minute, because the next thing he knew he was stretched out over Jake, face buried in his neck and tasting the salt of Jake's sweat this time. He pressed a kiss against Jake's pulse, then another to the underside of his chin before he finally found Jake's mouth for a long, slow kiss. Jake's hands trailed down his back, tracing his tattoos and pulling him closer until they were practically occupying the same space.

"I would, you know," Jake said, hands still moving on Josh's skin like he was afraid to let go even for a second.

"Would what?" Josh asked, fighting hard against the urge to drift into a deep, dreamless sleep. He knew he couldn't stay; they'd already been gone too long, and there was no way they could explain disappearing for a whole night.

"Leave Edgar and the rest of those guys. They're okay and all, but they don't matter."

Josh was pretty sure he got what Jake was saying. They didn't matter the way Josh mattered, and if they really could have their own boat Jake would leave them without a second thought. It didn't mean Jake didn't have a thing for Edgar, but the way he felt about Josh meant a lot more than some crush, and that was good enough for him. "You're gonna make full share," was all Josh said. He pushed himself up on one elbow, his free hand pushing sweat-damp blond hair away from Jake's forehead. "We both are, and when we come back for Opis you'll forget you ever wanted to quit."

"Yeah, yeah," was all Jake said, but he was grinning when Josh leaned in to kiss him again.


End file.
